no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
