it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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