Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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