if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
