She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize