You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
