I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
