I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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