sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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