If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Dicks are not precious.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
