i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize