all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
