You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
