when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize