For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
