All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize