their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
