I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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