how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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