She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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