well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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