the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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