so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
