just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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