gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
