Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
He shit in the fireplace
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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