Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
