He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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