I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
