My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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