So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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