ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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