we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
