Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
