I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
When did angry sex become our thing?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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