Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
