i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
