Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
