I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
