The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
