why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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