so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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