we're blogging at a bar
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
