Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
