mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
