2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
