we made out on top of his cat.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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