We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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