I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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