This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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