can u get pink eye on your cock?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
