We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
