I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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