Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
