and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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