I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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