question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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