Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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