ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
and you fell through a lawn chair
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
