This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
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