Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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