I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize