There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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