my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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