I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
you never un-have a 4some
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
