i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
