I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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