Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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