Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
