Sponge bath it is.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize