who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
