I could have mohawked her pubes.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
