Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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